SOME PEOPLE ARE SO BUSY STRIVING FOR SELF-IMPROVEMENT THAT THEY HAVE NO TIME FOR SELF-ACCEPTANCE: You can go to most of your better bookstores and will discover that their ?self-improvement? section takes up a very prominent part of their floor space available. Self-improvement is big business today and people spend billions of dollars yearly in an attempt to improve themselves.
When you go onto the Internet and search the word ?self-improvement? you are flooded with thousands of sites that all offer to ?improve? you. The reason for this phenomenon is that most people go around and feel that they are falling short of their own and others expectations. They feel that they are ?not ok?. When you feel that you are ?not ok? you tend to criticise yourself, put yourself down and generally feel ?less than? others. What you ?feel? about yourself will be displayed in all your actions and decisions.
How can you be happy, successful and involve yourself in long-term relationships if you feel so negative about yourself? I have for many years now promoted the concept that you are ok and already a champion when you come to see me. I always tell people that I view them as students and not patients. I also make sure that they understand that I am not going to attempt to improve them, but attempt to get them to accept themselves.
Rejection is one of the most painful experiences that you can go through. When a person that you love or that is important in your life rejects you it usually leaves you with self-doubt and fear of the future. When you reject yourself you activate the same painful emotions. Many people look in the mirror and hate themselves. They hate whom they are, what they stand for and what they failed to achieve in the past.
I want you to start today and to accept yourself unconditionally. I want you to stop this false perception that you are your past mistakes, shortcomings and failures. You will remain in one place forever while you uphold these destructive impressions of yourself. You are not fair on yourself and are your own worst enemy.
Remember that you can take this defective and soiled jacket off whenever you feel ready for it. It is the jacket that is soiled and not your perfect self. These negative and destructive images and perceptions that you have of yourself is just your overactive and dominating ego (jacket) that are hard at work to mess us your progress and happiness. Self-acceptance must become your number one goal in your life. Why? Because for as long as you believe there is something unacceptable about you, you will push away love, joy, success and continue to sabotage yourself.
You can read all the books that you can lay your hands on and attend seminars and weekend retreats until you run out of money and still not really improve yourself. You might feel a bit ?pumped? for a while after such seminars, but these short moments of contentment and happiness will soon dissipate when your self-doubt takes over again.
I mentioned it earlier and will say it again, ?You are not your past failures.? What happened last week and last year is ancient history and should not be kept alive artificially. While you see yourself as a failure, looser or idiot you will continue to act and respond to life from this inferior base.?The only way that you can go forward and improve on your performances is when you forgive yourself unconditionally for all mistakes that you made in the past. I am not only talking about the major mistakes in the past I am focused on even the smallest mistakes that you made.
Most people yearn to start over or to make a fresh start, but they are too afraid to let go of their past junk. They think that there might be no life after the last piece of scrap has left the inner recesses on their minds and hearts.?You are not indebted to God or need to be punished for your past mistakes, sins and shortcomings. This is not a sentence that you are trying to work away my friend. If this is your perception you will discover that you never escape this self-defeating loop that you got stuck in. The problem with this destructive concept is that you continue to make mistakes and fall short of expectations?daily and continue to add time to your sentence. You will never get out of your mental jail while you hold this false perception in your mind.
You might as well stop buying self-development books and stop wasting your money on motivational seminars if you are going to sustain this warped perception. If you can buy this principle of self-acceptance today you never need to read one self-help book in your life again. Remember that you might feel that you can always improve on something that you have done in the past, but keep in mind that we all usually do the best we can under current circumstances.
My friends learn to put things down at the end of everyday. Stop dragging the mistakes and shortcomings of today into tomorrow. Each day is filled to the brim with its own problems and obstacles. Why drag the guilt and mistakes of your past with you?
Christians are taught early in life that they must pray for forgiveness and also forgive others that trespassed against them. I am often amazed when I see men, women and children that ignore this safety valve that was given to them. I can only come to the conclusion that they think that God is unable to fully forgive them for their ?sins?. Because people find it so difficult to forgive themselves for the mistakes and shortcomings they find it even more difficult to forgive others that ?sinned? against them. Accept yourself?unconditionally today and experience real happiness and success!
Rene
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